is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
