I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
