Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
