am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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