I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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