"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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