I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm eating all of the evidence.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
