I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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