This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
