i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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