kristin has been a bad kristin
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
