I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think my moral compass just broke
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
