Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
