yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
