Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I want to be your penis for a week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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