last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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