Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
