U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
