sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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