I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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