I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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