Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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