Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
