Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
everyone is single if you try hard enough
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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