Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
