Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
whose parrot is this?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
