come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
