There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
did i just pee glitter
Text me some of your sweat
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
