How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
