The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
