I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
