oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
