he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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