I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
