Cold hands, warm shart.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
