You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
