conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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