Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize