Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
