Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
