I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
