Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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