I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
