We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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