What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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