better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
