I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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