More tranny stories later!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
