i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
