Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
