The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
